Scrumptious Storytelling

5 Feb

“Stories, like people & butterflies & songbirds’ eggs & human hearts & dreams, are also fragile things made up of nothing stronger or more lasting than 26 letters & a handful of punctuation marks.  Or they are words on the air, composed of sounds & ideas – abstract, invisible, gone once they’ve been spoken & what could be more frail than that?  But some stories, small, simple ones about setting out on adventures, of people doing wonders, tales of miracles & monsters, have outlasted all the people who told them & some of them have outlasted the lands in which they were created.”  by Neil Gaiman

I am stoked about my new scrumptious storytelling class!!!!

 

 

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Tumultuous Tutoring: aaaahhhh!!!!!

4 Feb

“I don’t care; I don’t want any!”  I was trying to get this kid, Brian, to come to a tutoring room (by letting him know that I can’t give him tokens if he doesn’t come to tutoring)…after picking up the kids from the cafeteria & waiting for another teacher to arrive (as I’d been given the responsibility of giving him his list of kids to tutor, for some reason)…I had to go to this other teacher’s room 1st to pick up my materials (as I don’t have access to them before this time) & both his kids and my kids are running amuck in his room..so, now I am trying to gather up the kids on my list to come with me to another room & now a few of the kids in the other teacher’s group are asking to come with me & Brian, who is supposed to come with me, doesn’t want to!  So, he plops himself down on the classroom floor.  Somehow we got him to get up and move to the hallway, but then he sat down on the floor of the hallway as well.  Meanwhile, the other kids in my group are already up the stairs, en route to my classroom. Finally, Brian got up and joined the rest of my group…we went to the classroom we were assigned to, only to find that there was another tutoring group there…Brian escapes again–I send one of the other kids after him – after several minutes, they return – so, I go to another classroom on the next floor that a custodian told me would be empty…it’s empty, but it’s locked…then, an angel of a teacher sees me in my distress and offers me her classroom!  Saved!  So, my group and I have actually made it inside a classroom when…Brian decides to bolt out of that classroom with his bookbag…& I couldn’t find him…he got out of there fast…he could be any where…he could be in the outside world by now…so, this time, I call the office, no response…called them again, still no response…so, then I send a kid, Nyah, downstairs with a note to my lead teacher letting her know that I can’t get Brian to stay in our classroom…after several minutes, Nyah returns to let me know that she couldn’t find the lead teacher, but she did find Brian, he is standing next to her!  Right about then, the office calls me back, so I let them know that our issue has been resolved!  Whew!  This whole process has taken about 45 minutes!  I need to think of more ways to discipline kids in the tradition of Willy Wonka…I just didn’t know what to do today…however, I did meet with the lead teacher to ask her if I can have access to the materials and set everything up in a classroom before the kids get there & she told me that I can next time (that would be this Wed.!), so, we’ll see what happens with that!  

Excerpts from “Chunks,” a 1-woman show!

3 Feb

She made a collage of love letters to her best friend who she was in love with, with a picture of a sad lady in the middle of it…and then, when this female object of her affection would stand next to her collage, she would gaze at the sad lady’s picture and think, ‘We know something she doesn’t know!’

She asked for the houselights to come up a little, because:  she likes to see pupils get sickened & she loves it when people roll their eyes at her!!!

If you want to be a stalker, make that person’s interests your specialty–she admired someone who loved turtles and travel, hence, she created a boardgame called “Turtle Adventures” & every move that was made, the 2 friend turtles would get married  – the friend didn’t get that she was in love with her!!!

“Being a Daughter of the Revolution could protect you from a terrorist attack!”

Shocking Horribleness: What 1 Christian did to try to get Justin Lee to not be gay –

2 Feb

This is taken from the book “Torn,” by Justin Lee, executive director of the Gay Christian Network.

“There was another very well-intentioned Christian acquaintance of mine.  When I told him I was gay, he grew concerned and promised to do all he could to help.  Days later, he came to me with a brown paper bag and a serious look on his face.

“Listen,” he said.  “I would normally really frown on this, but I care about you, and desperate times call for desperate measures.”

He handed me the bag, and I opened it up.  Inside was a Playboy magazine.  

“I thought maybe this would help awaken your natural desires,” he said.

“It doesn’t work like that,” I said.

“Just promise me you’ll try it,” he urged.

Not wanting to argue with him, I relented and said I would.  After he was gone, I leafed through the pictures of naked, buxom women.  It was my first real exposure to pornography, and it made me feel dirty.

And for the women?  Nothing.  Not even the slightest bit of arousal or attraction.  Only revulsion and self-loathing from the sleaziness of it all.  The experience made me sick to my stomach.”

This is so twisted!  Christians who are doing this:  CALM DOWN!  STOP IT!  HAVE SOME RESPECT!  Geesh…this kind of ignorance is tragic and infuriating!  Aretha Franklin’s song “Think” comes to mind…”You better think!  Think!  Think!  Think about what you’re tryin’ to do to me!  Hey, hey, HEY!”

Crazy Love performance quirky quotes

1 Feb

students “threw a couch on fire out the window” twice – when Malinowski was working with her nice guy future husband as dorm supervisors!  Lots of paper work was involved…

nice guy “as dangerous as thread”

I thought that the illustrious Arlene Malinowski said, “goof bumps” instead of goose bumps!

“my underwear gasped liked a Southern Belle that smelled the vapors”

“slip into something less beige”

“I was never told, ‘shhh’ because I grew up in the deaf community!”

When Arlene Malinowski’s fiancee’ met her parents for the 1st time and they asked him how he was doing and he attempted to sign “Very good,” he mistakenly signed, “Sex is good!”

Then, Arlene’s deaf mom accidentally signed that she wanted a “penis colada” instead of a “pina colada.”  When Arlene informed her mom about what she had mistakenly ordered, her mom responded, “What do you think they’re gonna bring me?”

 

31 Jan

“It’s too late not to sound pathetic, so here’s everything…”

“Searching for your love is like looking for a black cat in the dark when you’re blind…and the cat’s not even there!”

“I bet you’re wondering why this letter is filled with dead flies.”

“I’m sorry I came on your cat.”

Texting –
Guy: I’m going to dump you when we get home.
Girl: Ok, I was going to suggest we need some space.
Guy: WTF? That was a mistake – I meant to text “I’m going to jump you when we get home!!”

Girl: Oh, this is awkward.

Sequins instead of Pimples

“It’s too late not to sound pathetic, so here’s everything…”

“Searching for your love is like looking for a black cat in the dark when you’re blind…and the cat’s not even there!”

“I bet you’re wondering why this letter is filled with dead flies.”

“I’m sorry I came on your cat.”

Texting – Guy:  I’m going to dump you when we get home.

               Girl:  Ok, I was going to suggest we need some space.

               Guy:  WTF?  That was a mistake – I meant to text “I’m going to jump you when

                        we get home!!”

               Girl:  Oh, this is awkward.

 

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Oh no! Wack-o quotes from a cabaret about ex-es I attended tonight!

31 Jan

“It’s too late not to sound pathetic, so here’s everything…”

“Searching for your love is like looking for a black cat in the dark when you’re blind…and the cat’s not even there!”

“I bet you’re wondering why this letter is filled with dead flies.”

“I’m sorry I came on your cat.”

Texting – Guy:  I’m going to dump you when we get home.

               Girl:  Ok, I was going to suggest we need some space.

               Guy:  WTF?  That was a mistake – I meant to text “I’m going to jump you when

                        we get home!!”

               Girl:  Oh, this is awkward.